#connecting

The Big Glitch – it had capital letters now, it had become an Event – had a happy outcome. The Miner’s Guild won a big concession from SeecheeTri: olfactory boosts were automatically included now. And not just the basic level, the really posh one that Af had never been able to afford before.

They – or she, today, Ko had chosen femme avatars for both of them – rolled a cardamom pod around on her tongue, marveling how the taste moved around. The illusion that she was really eating this intensely flavored meal – not just cardamom, but clove, coriander, cumin, and ginger – was nearly perfect.

Af couldn’t wait to see what the level-up was going to do to sex. 

Except she was going to have to because Ko was teasing them both.

Ko whooshed past, bursting from a puffy white cloud, astride an enormous white horse with impossible feathery wings: a pegasus. Af was on one too, plunging through limitless brilliant blue. Birds wheeled below, and airplanes criss-crossed above.

Af was not going to admit that it had been scary first, soaring up and diving down, at the whim of the mighty steed, while trying to balance the meal on the little tray strapped ahead of her saddle.

She would happily concede that it had been exhilarating. Zipping through a cloudlet tingled her limbs like a cool mist.

But it was, at this point, getting a bit samey.

“Af, sweetie.” She had to yell across the distance between them.

“Yes, honey boo?” Her tone was teasing, but the reply was immediate. There was virtually no lag, their ships had to be very close in real-space.

“Can we land the flying horses now, sugar baby?”

“Why would you want to do that, angel?”

“Because this is fun, but I’d really like to — ” 

A gust of wind whipped Af’s words away, but Ko got the message anyway. Her horse plummeted toward the distant earth below, and Af’s followed.

phrases: clove, coriander, cumin, posh, angel, sweetie, sugar, ginger, scary, honey, pegasus, bird, baby, boo, airplane, cardamom

The ‘net was back, sort of. Af couldn’t arrange an intimate date with Ko yet, but they could at least meet for a meal in a virtual restaurant serving antique food wedged atop a crane, with a spectacular, if vertiginous view of ancient skyscrapers. Everyone got a free olfactory boost as compensation for the downtime.

Af and Ko found seats at a four-top with Chad and Jordan, a couple whose male-presenting, bleach-haired, surf-ready, avatars looked as alike as twins.

“Dare you to order the goat,” Chad teased.

“Mm, no,” Jordan said. “I’ll have the turkey, though.”

“What do you suppose orange roughy is?” Ko wondered. “I’m going to get that just to find out.” It turned out to be a kind of fish. They scraped scales from it with a knife, and squirted it with lemon.

Af took a swallow of their kiwi-flavored beverage, and leaned close to whisper to Ko. “Last time, when I said it wasn’t – “

Ko laid a hand on theirs. “I know. It’s OK.” 

With those words the tension Af had been carrying crumbled and collapsed in on itself. “Thank you,” they whispered.

Then, dessert. Chad got a “jay,” which was dried leaves wrapped in crinkly paper, a mild intoxicant consumed by lighting it on fire and inhaling the smoke. “Ancient people were weird,” he said, trying it out. And then, as his olfactory boost worked overtime, “Whoooah.”

Af and Ko ordered Georgia peach pie. “Can I get that togo?” they teased the server. “Just kidding. Two forks, please.”

“And extra whipped cream please,” Af added.

phrases: chad, scales, kiwi, jay, turkey, togo, crane, goat, date, orange, georgia, fish, lemon, jordan, swallow, twins

The ‘net glitch dragged on. At least the lag was super-low, Af and Ko’s ships must be practically on top of each other.

“I heard some of the gaming sims were still up.” At least the resolution on voice was good; Ko still sounded like Ko. “At least, Arthroworld is.”

Af scowled, not that Ko could see. “I don’t want to be a beetle, a termite, an ant, a cricket, or God forbid, a mantis.”

“Yeah. It looks like there’s a historic sports module up. Polo, fencing, squash.”

“I don’t even know what those are.” Af was looking at their own boards. A cooperative cooking sim showed green, and a competitive tailoring game. Af didn’t want to play with carrots, onions, corn, or beets. They didn’t want to sew a tee-shirt, a halter, or a cami. They wanted to be with Ko, see them. Touch them, as best as the actual distance between their ships allowed.

“This isn’t working.” Af meant this date, in the middle of the glitch, but they knew how it might sound. They said it anyway.

“All right, then,” Ko said, and broke the connection.

phrases: polo, carrot, beetle, tee, cami, corn, termite,  halter, mantis, beet, onion, tank, ant, fencing, cricket, squash

Af had planned something lovely, but there was an epic net glitch. They and Ko were together, but nowhere. Bodiless in formless void.

Fortunately they could still talk. Ko’s mind was stuck on one track today, but Af didn’t mind that, not in the least.

“What’s your favorite silly metaphor for sex?” Ko asked.

Af demurred. “Almost anything works, if you push it hard enough. What’s yours?”

Ko laughed. “I see what you did there.”

Af smiled, even though Ko couldn’t see it. “Maybe not chess,” they allowed. “Even though playing queen or king could be fun, being forced to mate isn’t. Checkers might be better, we could both go all the way and be kinged.”

“Or in backgammon we could watch each other bear off men,” Ko offered. “What about… cryptography? Or locksmithing? Cracking codes, unlocking combinations.”

“That could be a little too goal-oriented if you’re not careful,” Af said. “How about playing piano? Twin keyboards, fortissimo trading off with pianissimo, pounding and tickling, making beautiful melodies?”

“Kissing.” Ko said. “In a young adult novel. Your lips so full, and cherry-red, mine ruby, nipping and tugging.”

“Kissing is sex, though” Af said. “I think we should disqualify that.”

“A conflagration,” Ko suggested. “Fully raging with no fire truck in sight. Midnight street racing, blowing through stop signs.”

“Summer,” Af countered. “In Old Earth Florida. Hot, sticky, languid.”

Ko was silent for a long moment. “Summer. That’s a good one. Let’s simmer, in the summer.”

phrases: backgammon, queen, go, full, king, cherry, florida, fire truck, stop sign, ruby, twin, cryptography, checkers, locksmith, piano, chess

Af and Ko were in a blank-walled room with exactly two things in it: a silver throne, emblazoned with an image of a bear and her cubs, and a weird object, a striped prismatic structure with so many sides it was nearly a cylinder, set on a narrower dark base. Small placards labeled them: the throne was “Joey” and the prism-thing was “John.”

“An antique super computer.” Ko pointed at the prism. “The first, in fact, the Cray-1.”

“What?” Af was baffled. “Why is it called John?”

Ko shrugged. “Does it matter?” They pulled Af into an embrace, a kiss, their lips hungry and urgent.

Af felt themself respond, desire quickening. They were unsteady in Ko’s arms, their knees turned to jelly.

“Here’s looking at you kid,” Ko muttered when they pulled apart.

Af laughed. “What? You’re in a weird mood, Ko.”

“I want you.” Ko’s voice was thick with lust. They nudged Af gently in the direction of the throne. “Can I give you head?”

Af’s sigh was nearly a moan. “I don’t know, can you?” They let themself be guided, eased into the throne. 

Ko’s strong hand massaged Af’s ankle, kneading away the tension that lurked there. Af closed their eyes and stars flickered behind their eyelids. Ko’s other hand traveled up, teasing calf and shin. Ko pressed a kiss to Af’s knee, and nudged their thighs apart with gentle pressure.

phrases:
knee, silver, jelly, head, star, thigh, kid, cray, joey, ankle, john, throne, can, calf, shin, cub

Af stuck with the recent theme: a boardwalk, late, only a few stragglers strolling it, the midnight sky velvet black overhead, the roar of the sea under everything.

“Go for a walk with me, baby?” they asked.

“I’ll go anywhere with you,” Ko promised, taking their arm.

“Get it, sister!” one of the NPCs called from the side. 

They laughed, and walked on. Af had arranged some seedy details, weird trash strewn about. White powder, probably just sugar. A criss-cross of Q-tips. A solitary ice cube melting in the groove between two of the boards.

“Careful,” they told them. “I might you land in jail. Locked up like a common criminal, robbed of your future.”

They chuckled. “That’s royal. What crime do you have in mind, I wonder?”

“Sin,” Af said, pulling them into an embrace.”Public indecency.”

“Sign me up,” Ko said.

phrases: go, boardwalk, sister, future, royal, chance, baby, sin, jail, common, midnight, sea, ice cube, q-tip, wonder, powder

It was Ko’s turn to choose the setting for their next date.

“So, they did stream movies, back on Olden Earth,” they said, as if it had been minutes since their last conversation. “You paid for the name of the stream you liked, like ‘Netflix’ or ‘Hulu.’ So I still don’t know why they had to be in little boxes.”

Af laughed. “Hello to you, too!”

They was in a chair, a cramped, hard, low, thing.. Ko was next to them in a similar chair, one of thousands in a vast oval arena, most of them filled with NPCs. Many of shirts the NPCS wore matched: blue, with plum accents, or white and scarlet. Below them was a startlingly, unnaturally green expanse of ground, with bare earth in a sort of megaphone shape, with a circle in its center.

It took Af a few seconds to work it out. They arched an eyebrow at Ko. “Have you taken me out to a ballgame?”

As if in answer, figures down below streamed on to the field from either side. They stretched and preened like peacocks as the crowd roared its approval.

Af grinned in surprised delight. They’d been feeling a little glum; this absurd spectacle was a perfect tonic. “These are prime seats you scored us.”

They smiled back.

As the game started, Ko signaled to a man trotting up the aisle, and Af found themselves holding a paper carton with extremely weird food: a sort of meat tube nestled in a grilled bun; a thicket of squarish yellow sticks that looked vaguely vegetal. And, amazingly, it had an aroma. It smelled good, actually.

“Ko, did you get me a olfactory boost?”

They shrugged, smiled sheepishly. “Guilty.”

There were little vac packets with the food. Ko showed Af: yellow and green globs of mustard and relish for the dog, red ketchup for the fries. It was very colorful. “You can put mayo on the fries,” Ko said, “but I don’t really recommend it.” They gently nudged another packet aside. “I don’t know why they gave you tartar sauce, that goes with the fish and chips.”

Af took a bite. Back in the creche on their ship, the neurostims went into overload: salt and sweet, acid tartness and umami swirled through their senses. The texture was – well, it was weird, but not exactly bad.

Af leaned their head on Ko’s shoulder. It was a pretty great date.

phrases: mustard, blue, tartar, mayo, glum, green, plum, down, netflix, scarlet, peacock, relish, low, prime, hulu, ketchup

After the disastrous failed date at the carnival. it was several days before Af saw Ko again. They hacked up a little program so they could automatically ping each other, and know when they were close enough that the lag wasn’t bad.

It was Af’s turn to pick the scenario, but they weren’t feeling inspired. They let the system generate a random environment. 

Af found themself in an interior space huge beyond their imaginings, a super-space. There weren’t any NPCs this time; Af and Ko were alone. Af thought environment was twelve times their height, maybe more. Af didn’t have the right words for it, not exactly an atrium, not exactly a hall. The sides were glassed, with huge open doorways at intervals leading into more ancillary spaces crammed with – stuff. Just, so much stuff.

And that wasn’t even all: above were two levels of balconies. Af could see, on the far side, more glass walls, leading to more spaces full of stuff.

Ko did a slow pivot in place, their eyes sweeping over everything. “Where even are we, Af?”

“Uh,” I’m not sure. Af did an image lookup, but they didn’t have it in their local storage, the query had to route to the nearest station and back. “I think it’s called a … shopping mall?” The simulator’s autogen seemed somehow to have a mysterious bias for 20th and 21st century settings.

Ko’s laugh echoed weirdly in the enormous space.

They grabbed Af’s wrists, and Af let themself be tugged into the nearest of the ancillary stores. “It’s full of shoes!” 

Af thought, more precisely, that the space was full of tables full of shoes. But Ko was delighted, amazed. “So many shoes!” They whirled through the space, Af following a bit dazedly in their wake. They picked up a shoe, a funny, lumpy thing with weird stripes, but clearly a shoe, and tossed it to Af, who barely managed to catch it. 

Ko peered at the signs on the tables. “Puma, Nike, Reebok, Adidas … so many names for shoes! What’s the difference between them, I wonder?”

Af had already run a follow-up query. “Just the name, I think. You paid more for the shoe with the name you liked.”

“You’re making that up.”

Af shook their head. “I’m not!”

Ko darted out of the shoe space, and into another one. This one had storage racks, of a sort fully of small, brightly colored and illustrated boxes. Each one was labeled, in a most in fanciful typography. Ko read some out again: “Cabar-et, Cats, Chick-a-go. What were these, do you think?”

Af didn’t know why Ko wasn’t running their own queries, but they were happy to play along. “Video programs. The ones in this rack all have signing and dancing.” 

“Why would you put a video in a box, instead of just downloading it to local?”

Af shrugged, chuckling. “No clue. None.”

Each space – store, Af learned – was filled with a specific category of objects. One was devoted to nothing but decorations for an ancient holiday that celebrated things the Earthers had once considered macabre: tombstones, iron gates, bats, spiders, and for some strange reason, cats. They dangled from strings as cut-outs, or leant their forms to puffy, shiny lighter-than-air objects that bobbed around the area.

Farther down,  the aisle widened. It was a spoke, and more spokes radiated out, down aisles with even more stores, crammed with even more stuff. In the center a carousel rotated slowly, like a weird left over from the carnival sim.

Ko found a store with what looked like small robots.

“They called that a vacuum,” Af said. “But it wasn’t a hard vacuum. It made localized low pressure zones, and they used it to clean things.”

Ko looked bemused. “What?”

Af waved their hands helplessly. What they were learning made no sense. “Everything used to be covered in dust. Which was skin cells? Supposedly they also cleaned with water, something called a mop? But I don’t see any of those here.”

Ko’s eyebrows shot up. “Using water to clean with? Now I know you’re pulling my leg!”

“I am not pulling your leg,” Af said quietly. “But I’m overwhelmed with all this. I’d like to retreat to one of those benches and make out with you, if that’s OK.”

Worry creased Ko’s features when they heard Af’s tone, quickly replaced by a lustful light in their eyes. They took Af’s hand, gently this time. “Af, that’s more than OK.”

phrases: mop, cabaret, sweep, cats, iron, puma, nike, reebok, vacuum, chicago, carousel, spider, dust, bat, super, adidas

Af was in a nightmare. Ko’s nightmare? Why had Ko beckoned Af into a nightmare?

They were standing in a pit, shoulder-deep, a narrow curving channel of metal under a looming, rotating ungainly bulbous structure that was both gaudily painted and had chunks of rusty metal flaking off of it. A mad scientist’s lab of gears and chains rattled and whirled in the inner wall. They clambered out the other side and reeled away. They looked back and up to see a huge metal head, three or four times Af’s height, with bulging red cheeks, a grinning mouth full of wolffish serrated teeth, a protruding nose, lidless black eyes. A dozen or so braids sprouted between the points of the gilded king’s crown it wore: metal arms, bobbing up and down  from which dangled little cars just big enough for a cosy couple. A sign sticking out of its ear proclaimed: “El Amigo Loco”

Okay, a carnival ride. Something from 19th or 20th century Earth, maybe.

It was supposed to be merry, but it was giving Af the creeps. “Ko?” they called uncertainly.

They turned away from the ride, toward a midway densely peopled with NPCs.

The NPCs reeled around. One waved pom-poms in Af’s face; they pulled back. The NPCs were variously gobbling drumsticks, scarfing pizza slices, chowing down on hot dogs, but of course they had no smell. An off-leash little dog – a peke? – weaved underfoot. On the sides of the midway, stooges lined up at hucksters’ booths to be fleeced. A raucous tenor sax melody blared from unseen speakers.

“Ko! Where are you?”

Ko appeared, recognizable even in an over-sized clownsuit. “–orryy. Not…” They flickered, derezzed.  “–anted.”

The lag seemed terrible, the worst it had ever been since Af and Ko had started seeing each other. Nearly two minutes? Af thought for a moment. Three and a half million clicks, give or take. Af had never felt farther from Ko. Af had never been farther from Ko.

phrases: lab, wolf, amigo, eye, peke, cheek, pit, mouth, stooge, gobble, scarf, nose, chow, pom, king, tenor

It was Af’s turn to choose the scenario. This time Af was male, and Ko was too.

Af materialized on a strip of pebbly beach by a grayish sea, with a broken-down castle in the distance. Af grinned to himself. They each had a mile to walk, plenty of time to let their anticipation grow.

Af had chosen provocative matching outfits for both of them, glossy black short-shorts and knee-high boots. It was a treat, as they came within sight of each other, to watch Ko ascend the bluff to the castle. That visual was more Af’s fetish than Ko’s, but Af had a treat for Ko, too.

At the gate of the castle, Ko was peevish: “Why did you make me walk so far on foot?”

Inside the castle yard was a queue of people there to witness their lovemaking.

The lag was pretty long today, so Af had to wait for Ko to see the crowd, react, and respond. Af didn’t mind the lag, it heightened his focus, heightened his arousal. Finally Ko’s eyes widened. “They are real,” he said wonderingly. “Here to watch us?”

Af nodded, grinning at his lover’s delight.

Exhibitionism wasn’t a cheap kink, the cost of the real-time link increased exponentially with each additional participant. Af had worked in league with several of Ko’s friends to arrange this treat for him – and more than spent the spacebucks he’d won on their last date.

Furniture materialized in the courtyard, a ring of settees and chaises surrounding a big round bed. The guests arrayed themselves among them: a lounger on this couch, a loafer on that. One was quite the sneaker, lurking on the ground, peering furtively through the legs of a sofa.

Ko pulled his shorts down and crawled on to the bed. Af pulled his down too, and followed him.

“Give it to me,” Ko demanded. “Pump me hard. Give me your essence.”

“I’ll do that,” Af promised. “I’ll do that, and more.”

Phrases: mile, time, foot, queue, sea, are, loafer, yard, sneaker, people, boot, league, pump, why, essence, us,